Facebook and The Mystery of Prayer

Waiting for the Stones on tour. It's going to be a blast!

Social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) and smart phones connect us with the world and allow us to know what's happening and to inform others of the things happening in our lives as well. It can be both a blessing and a curse. It can give a false sense of community or it can truly be a method of communicating to your friends of things that they would want to know about and to take action on. I've had a deep attraction to technology since I was in high school, thanks to my dad, and have had struggles with spending too much time online. Here's a 2009 article from CNN on the 12 most annoying types of Facebookers.

Facebook has been a great way of helping me to reconnect with old friends, former students and keep in touch with family spread far and wide. It definitely does not replace nor should it replace the intimate, one-on-one, face-to-face communication of being in person with someone. This past week I witnessed how Facebook benefitted me and how God used this form of communication to bring Him glory.

Here are screenshots of my postings:

I thought I was tired from the weekend activities I was involved in. Boy, was I wrong!

At the hospital, I was making light of my situation. I was in more pain than I've ever been in my life. The worst part was the nausea. St. Agnes does have very nice barf bags though!

I spent all day Tuesday in bed sleeping to avoid the pain and the nausea. Even though I was on medication, I was not well.

I had a BAD Tuesday night. I spent most of Wednesday sleeping except for a quick trip for a CT scan.

While I was sleeping, Wendi made the arrangements and posted this Wednesday afternoon.

My mother-in-law posted this on her FB page asking for prayer. Notice that I didn't ask for any prayer up until this time. I think Wendi may have, but not me.

45 minutes after she posted her status update, over 25 people had responded to her request and were praying. I was truly overwhelmed by the prayer support. I think I also had my last bout with nausea and then slept that night, an almost normal night.

This post says it all. I was feeling pretty good all day Thursday and was in a mood that Wendi described as zen-like. I don't know what she meant - I think I was pretty calm and at peace, but excited that the pain might soon be over.

I got called in early. I'm excited and obviously making light of the situation. I could sense God's presence and knew that things would be fine.

Over at last, the stone was lodged in my right ureter and would not have passed on it's own. The surgery was successful - much different than the previous procedure that I had in September for the left kidney. In that situation, the stone was much larger but had not moved yet, so I was never in any pain. They say that kidney stones are as bad as labor. I don't know if that's true, but at least with labor, the end result is a beautiful, new life and a new found love and wonder for your child.

As a result of this experience, I see the value in using Facebook to get the word out to pray for people. A verse comes to mind - James 4:2b "You do not have, because you do not ask." Now this is taken a bit out of context, but speaks of me. I haven't always prayed because either I'm afraid that I won't get the answer I want or I don't pray because why should I pray to God who already knows what I need before I've even asked.

Søren Kierkegaard once said that 'the function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays." I have found this to be true. In praying, my attitude or mind is changed and I become aware of my dependence on God more than on my own limited resources. 

Oswald Chambers said, "Is the Son of God praying in me, or am I dictating to Him?...Prayer is not simply getting things from God, that is a most initial form of prayer; prayer is getting into perfect communion with God. If the Son of God is formed in us by regeneration, He will press forward in front of our common sense and change our attitude to the things about which we pray." I think that I don't know enough about prayer, but I'm learning. Jesus constantly prayed to God the Father and He was God Himself. So if Jesus prayed and also taught us to pray via the Lord's prayer, we should be praying as well. It just amazes me that I could have communion with the Creator of the universe and that my prayers (or the prayers of others) somehow come into play with His purposes. 

Ah, the mystery of being a Son of the Most High. This too will be one of those realities that will be fully realized in eternity.

A Letter to My Son

Dear Luke,

When you were born 23 years ago, someone told me that the time would fly by. At the time I didn't realize how true that statement is. The time has flown and now your wedding day is upon us. I've been praying for you (it's not like I just started!) and have been pondering on what to say to you. Here are some thoughts that I wanted to share with you.

A Mystery
This covenant of marriage you about to enter in with Valerie is not something to be taken lightly. In Ephesians 5:32, Paul describes marriage as picture of Christ and the Church. He even refers to it as a mystery. Your marriage relationship is a visible testimony of Jesus Christ and the Church. I don't completely understand, but like the doctrine of the Trinity, I get glimpses of who God is and how He relates to us. Our society has taken marriage so lightly that there is debate as what constitutes a marriage. It is more than a commitment between two loving adults. It's not just a "friend with benefits" kind of relationship. You and Valerie are to love each other with a love that is so totally different than the world's definition and as a result your marriage will be a living witness of how Christ loves us.

Love Your Wife as Christ Loved the Church

This was spoken to me at my wedding 26 years ago and it is probably the key verse that I strive to live by in my relationship with my wife (who conveniently is also your mother!). Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." Every time I'm tempted to point out that I'm right about something - whether it's in an argument, or something that I would be wanting to 'invoke' my rights, this verse stops me cold. Jesus Christ, the Son of God who died on the cross for me and rose from the dead, by his position of authority in my life, can demand my loyalty and worship, but instead is patient and waits for me. He'd much rather have me completely by my own volition or will, instead of manipulating me or forcing me to love Him. Loving Valerie like Christ loves you involves humility, patience and a view of wanting the best for her. We can be so selfish and deceive ourselves with a false sense of humility, but when we measure our love by Christ's standard, we're quickly put in our place.

Be A Man of God

One of the things that a wife really wants is a husband that loves God with his whole heart. Remember the line from "Courageous" in which Nathan tells his daughter that if a man loves God first, he'll always love and cherish her. Matthew 6:33 says "Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you." You can only be the husband that Christ is calling you to be if you seek Him and put all of your trust in Him. You cannot do it on your own or try real hard and hope that God blesses you or gives you an occasional helping hand.

Provide for Your Family
Paul says in 1st Timothy 5:8 that the one who does not provide for his own family "denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." Another thing that I remember my pastor counseling me before we got married was that I need to do whatever work I can get in order to provide for my family. This not only applies to physical or financial needs, but also the spiritual needs of your family. In Colossians 3:23, Paul also writes, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." He goes on later to say that you are serving the Lord Christ. It is real important that whatever work you do, that you give over and above what is expected of you. You were created to work and you will find a certain amount of satisfaction from a job well done. By giving your all, you will be a further testimony of Christ living in you.

Blessing
Finally, I want to close by telling you what a blessing you are to me. I can't tell you how often someone at work or church will come up to me and tell me, "I saw Luke at Costco the other day." They always tell me what a great kid you are. I know - you're a man, but I'd treasure the "kid" part as long as you can. It fades quickly. Seriously, I am proud of the man that you have become and know that with God's help, you will have a marriage as strong and joyful as I have had. God has brought you a beautiful gift in Valerie and will use her to continue to shape you into His image. May God richly bless you.

Embracing Reality

View "A"

View "B"

On Friday I went to see another urologist to get answers that a previous doctor was unable to give. It's amazing how clear communication takes away any doubts. It's like the difference between driving with a dirty windshield and one that's clean. My first visit with Doctor "A" left me with lots of questions and doubts.  Like the picture above on the left, I could see ahead of me but didn't quite know what was coming up. Looking at the picture on the right, I can see the edges of the road, the center line and can see ahead. In both pictures my view is limited to a particular distance. Doctor "B" not only gave me a clear diagnosis and explained everything in the pathology report, but he also pointed out significant things that Doctor "A" failed to mention.

I still don't know what definitely lies ahead, but I now "own it" as Wendi said to me this afternoon. She had already embraced the reality of my new-found condition, but I had yet to fully acknowledge it. Some of you know what I'm talking about, but the rest of you will have to guess or e-mail me privately if you really want to know. I do know that I will be blogging about this in January after some really fun tests, tests that I don't need to study for!

Trust Fall

Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." In Romans 8:24, Paul writes, "For in this hope ( freedom from sin and redemption in Christ - not just figuratively, but in reality - v.21, 23) we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?" What Paul and the writer of Hebrews are getting at is that faith is hope in something that is unseen, yet having such a conviction that you actually live by that. The person in the picture directly above doesn't know that those 6 people will actually catch her. It's scary to do this. She hopes that they will catch her. If she knew they'd catch her, then it wouldn't really be faith - according to Paul and the writer of Hebrews. That is how a life living in Christ is. That is what I'm finding to be true. It sure is scary at times, but the thrill of being caught - that's exciting. Am I scared of what lies ahead? Sure, who wouldn't? But am I living in fear or doubt? No - at least not right now. Like the girl in this picture, I'm trusting Christ for whatever happens. A story that illustrates what I'm talking about is found here. I am that man on His back.

Planting Stakes

This has been a very eventful week. A week filled with looking back on life-changing events and looking forward to whatever may lie ahead.

Our son, Luke, was born 23 years ago this past Tuesday. What makes that event so memorable is the fact that he was born 6-8 weeks early and weighed only 3 lbs. Wendi also lapsed into a coma for a day and regained consciousness only after dialysis restarted her kidneys. Scary times! But in all of this given the perspective of time, I see God's faithfulness and that was one of many moments that helped define who I am today.

In my Bible reading plan that I've been reading/listening to for the past couple of months, I have been struck with the number of times that God's people were instructed to erect an altar and worship God for the great things He had done. Moses would constantly remind the people of the how God brought them out of Egypt and saved them. In 1 Samuel 7:12, Samuel took a stone and named it "Ebenezer" (stone of help) because the Lord helped deliver the Israelites from the Philistines at Mizpah. It's in remembering God's faithfulness in the past that we can look forward with confidence, knowing that God is with us and will deliver us from whatever trials we face. Does that mean that life will be easy or there will always be a happy ending? Of course not, but I believe that since He loves me so much, He will always have His best for me. That can be a hard thing.

Samuel erected an Ebenezer to remember that God helped Israel at Mizpah. I have some thing similar akin to what some people may refer to as milestones. I like to call them stakes. There are definite times where a stake is planted in my mind that I look back on and remember what God has done. Here are some of them: January 19, 1981 - I met Jesus Christ and surrendered to him in my dorm room at Dykstra Hall; June 29, 1985 - the day I got married. September to November 1988 - Luke's birth, Wendi's coma and pulmonary embolisms; August 1990 - December 1990 - when we first learned of Chris's heart defect and dealt with possibly losing him at birth and in the months following his birth. November 1995 - my Walk to Emmaus experience in which I experienced the Love of Christ in a different way that has continued to impact me to this day.

The latest stake to add in my life is September 8, 2011. I had been experiencing hematuria off and on since May 2011 and discovered in August that I had a kidney stone. I had the stone blasted in a procedure called lithotripsy. It may sound painful but up to now I've had no pain whatsoever. When I was in recovery the doctor told Wendi that he had found a small tumor in my bladder and removed it for biopsy. He told her it was probably like skin cancer, something that you just remove.

In the week following the procedure Wendi and I lived in a world of not knowing what the future would hold. Do I have cancer? How bad is it? What are the next steps? We've done a lot of research on the internet, which can be a good thing. But one of my pastors wisely pointed out that on the internet, you get everything without knowing what applies to you. For instance if you look up all of the symptoms for a headache - you get everything from a minor everyday headache caused by stress to something life threatening like a brain tumor or meningitis.

This past Thursday the doctor didn't have much to say. I had to ask him all the questions:" Is this a low-grade tumor (slow growing)?" -Yes. "Would you call it a 'superficial' tumor?" - Yes. Not much else came out of that conversation. We left with just as many questions that came with. I guess I have bladder cancer, but shouldn't I know for sure? I don't even know if I can give blood. Needless to say that we're in the process of switching doctors. In the meantime, we're still living in the world of 'what ifs.'

No matter what the outcome is, we're trusting in God and that He will be with us throughout this chapter of our lives. 

Daring to do the Daunting

Directions for taking apart a garage door motor.

Earlier this summer, in June to be exact, our garage door stopped working. The motor still hummed, but the door itself wasn't moving up or down. I went to OSH to see how much a new opener would cost and balked at the $200 price. I wondered if I could fix it myself.

I'm not a very handy guy. I don't have much in the way of tools and when I do attempt a project, it ends up taking multiple trips to the store and multiple hours to get it done.

When I was a kid, I'd take my bike apart - all the way down to the frame and put it back together. I wanted it to re-lube all of the moving parts and make it seem like it was brand new. I remember once having extra parts after the bike was reassembled, and found out that I had skipped a couple of steps in putting things back again.

I looked at the garage door and saw that a small plastic gear that works with a worm gear was completely shredded and the bottom of the motor housing was filled with what looked like snow flakes. I went to Fresno Ag, because "if they don't have it, you don't need it." Well, they didn't have it and I needed it! I went on the internet and found the exact part I needed at Amazon.com for only $3.40. I ordered the part and it was here within 3 days. I also found the directions for replacing the part on the internet (you can see a part of it here). I had everything I needed and the whole summer to do it. The only thing I lacked was the confidence that I could do the job.

Could I do it? Probably. I had replaced part of my sewer line last summer. I had also replaced the front door lock in July. Every time I looked at the diagram, I shuddered to think of the task at hand. It was too much for me.

Last Thursday I took time off from work to go to the doctor - that's another story for later. Afterwards, I decided to try the garage door. I followed the directions and got everything apart, but ran out of time. Also,  I had problems getting the old plastic gear off the shaft it was on. I used a nail to get the roll pin (I didn't know what they were until now) out that was holding the gear in place. I went to my father-in-law's and borrowed a punch to get a new pin back in. It took until Saturday for me to get everything back together again, but it all worked and I was pleased with the results.

I won't lie - I had my doubts during the whole repair. I did pray before I began and while I was  working. As I was writing this entry, one verse kept coming to me - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13). I also was thinking about how the Israelites would forget God's faithfulness over and over again when they were wondering in the wilderness. I am just like them, forgetting how God has been with me and will continue to be.

One of the names of Jesus is Immanuel - God with us. At the end of Matthew's Gospel, Jesus says "surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (28:20b) Those are good words to remember.

The Simple Life

Today in high school youth group and in "big" church I heard words that had a theme for today. They were words like 'genuine' and 'sincere.' I have always tried to be unassuming and real with not only myself but with everyone. Hopefully those who know me would say that "what they see in me is what they get."

I'm now 50 years old and don't understand why some people make life so complicated or see things in others that may or may not be there. I can't be anyone else than myself and it's taken me this long to be really comfortable with who I am. We can easily be deceived about who we are and fool ourselves by looking at others and thinking we're not so bad off. Jeremiah 17:9 says that "the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" I need to keep that in mind. God knows the hearts of all and more importantly, He knows my heart.

The apostle Paul refers to the Church in 1 Corinthians 12 as the Body of Christ. He uses this analogy to illustrate the relationship that we have one to another in Christ and also how we are a representation of Christ here on earth.

One of the things that is great about being a member of the Body of Christ is that I am one of many members that make up the whole with Christ as the head. In the body of Christ, there is diversity and when we are all functioning correctly, everything goes smoothly. Just as a physical body gets injured or sick, so does the body of Christ. I'm a musician not a medical student (even though I accidently took a pre-med biology class my freshman year at UCLA). I can't figure things on my own nor can I function alone. I need to be in relation with others. There is no benefit to doing things on your own. I guess that's one of the reasons that I'm a tuba player. By myself, it's pretty boring. But with a whole band or orchestra, my part becomes part of a larger whole that is much better than if I play solo.

I know that this may sound very general and perhaps I'm rambling on, but it troubles me when the Body of Christ is hurt and not functioning the way it should. I'm being vague on purpose. I guess I'll stop now otherwise I can become self absorbed and think I'm something special.

You've probably seen those motivational posters at corporate offices or schools. I found Demotivators and they really make me laugh because many of them are true. I bought this one a couple of years ago and it sits somewhere near my work area. Maybe I'll edit this blog entry later this week and post it. It reminds me that we are all unique and yet, we're the same.

Finder of the Lost

The Parable of the Lost Coin (Luke 15:8-10)

Today during Kaylene's soccer game at Concussion Park (our name for Selma Layne Park, Wendi asked me to hold on to Kaylene's ring. It was a Black Hills gold ring that we had bought for at Wall Drug last summer in Wall, SD. I put it on my pinkie finger and then refitted it loosely so that it wouldn't stay permanently on. Wendi told me to be careful and not to lose it.

Well, after her game was over at 2:00, we took her to her next game at the indoor soccer complex over by Fresno St. After that game Wendi and I went home to get ready to go to a wedding that started at 5. As we were sitting in the ceremony I realized that I didn't have Kaylene's ring. I hoped that I had left it in the car or taken it off when I had taken a shower before going to the wedding. It wasn't in the car and when we got home at 9 P.M. It was about then that Kaylene asked for her ring. I told her that I might have lost it but had to check a couple of places.

It wasn't in the bathroom and it wasn't in the bag that the folding chairs were in. By now it's after 10 P.M. and Kaylene was pretty bummed and also dealing with another unrelated difficult situation. I changed out of my wedding clothes, got a flashlight and drove to the park to look for the ring. As I drove there a section of scripture that we had studied at our Net Team meeting on Thursday was echoing in my mind - the Parable of the Lost Coin (Luke 15:8-10).

In this parable, a woman who has 10 silver coins loses one. She lights a lamp and sweeps the house diligently searching the house until she finds the coin. When she finds it, she calls her friends together to rejoice over the found coin. Jesus says in verse 10, "Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

Kaylene's Ring

I prayed to God that He would guide me to the coin and I would search diligently like the woman in the parable until I had found the ring. It was dark and with only a flashlight I searched the area where we were sitting in the middle of the park. After 45 minutes, I found the ring!!!

I was amazed and called home right away. If I didn't find the ring I had planned on taking Kaylene out to buy a new one, but it wouldn't be the same as her ring. I know that God knew where the ring was and though He was under no obligation to answer my request, He granted it gracefully.

This may seem like a coincidence to some or just a silly story but to me it illustrates how much God does care about the 'small' things that happen in our lives and that He truly is the finder of the lost - both things and people. "What about that missing sock of mine? Are you saying that God knows where that is?" He does but do you really want it? I suppose if you do, you can always pray, light a lamp and start searching. I think I'd rather go to Costco and buy another bag of 12 pairs.

Birthdays

Yesterday I celebrated the big 5-0. It was one of the best birthdays I've ever had - right up there with my 40th. It's hard to top a weekend at a beach house in Cambria with a drive up Highway 1 in a convertible rental car. The highlights of this 50th celebration were:

1. My wife surprised me at work with a party that involved the people from my district office. I'm so clued out that I didn't notice everyone was wearing yellow, my favorite color.
2. I had over 160 birthday wishes on Facebook from friends, family, former students, co-workers, and my church family. Through all of those messages I felt God's unconditional love and blessings. That was probably the best birthday gift of all time!
3. Thursday night we had our first networker dinner and meeting with our three networkers. Again, everyone was wearing yellow and we had All-American Chocolate cake from Costco. It was great to take a short break from the diet (or life-style change) and I didn't feel guilty.

50 or half a century sounds so old. But I really don't feel old at all. It is amazing how fast the time is starting to fly. It seems like only yesterday that I was in college, getting married, having babies. Now they're getting married or approaching college.

My brother-in-law reminded me that I'm closer to Jesus than I was to being born. That's true, but what does it matter when I'm with Him for eternity? 

"So, put another candle on your birthday cake, you're another year old today!"

Fortunately this didn't happen to me, but this is a funny commercial.

iStuff

This past week I got an iPhone at work. My old phone was dying and I needed a new one. Just two weeks before that I got an iPad too. I thought that it was Christmas day with all of this new technology!! There's some benefits as well as pitfalls. I can check my e-mails from anywhere (it can be a plus or a minus). I can text much faster. I can access the Internet and get information from almost anywhere. I can watch movies or listen to Pandora any time.

"Where are the pitfalls?" you ask. For someone that realizes that he can totally lose himself on the 'net, this can be another distraction that keeps me disconnected from people. Facebook and FaceTime(a cool Skype-like feature from Apple) can give one some connection with people, but I believe that this is a poor substitute for real face-to-face interaction. On the other hand I found a great free bible app. that has a bible devotional plan that is keeping me on track to read the bible in one year. There are also lots of free ebooks online.

I'm thankful that I have not dealt with the issue of internet pornography, but I still need to be careful and have people to keep me accountable.

iStuff can be good, but like anything in life I need to keep everything in balance.

A Disciplined Life

Well, it's been a while since I last checked in. I have now lost a total of 26 pounds and have learned quite a few things. The most important thing so far is that discipline is a good thing. By being careful and regimented about what I eat, I'm also finding carry over in other areas. This may sound funny but I'm flossing my teeth a couple of times a week - up from never. I've also started a bible reading program.

Last week I got an iPad at work. I found a bible app and downloaded it so that I could spend time in the Word. It came with many bible reading programs and I found one to help me read the Word every day. I'll let you know how that goes.

I'm not starving, just having a hard time denying myself. I'm not going to kid myself - I do miss things like chocolate, bread, cookies, etc. but I believe that in time I'll be able to have those things in moderation. I need to start exercising but time has been a factor.

The writer of Hebrews wrote, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (Heb. 12:11) Although in the context of the passage, he is referring to the Believer's struggle with sin and God's disciplining us to be more like Him, it could also apply to my situation. 

I've been craving these.

Up until now I have never said "no" to myself and have eaten whatever I wanted whether or not I needed it. In eating for the sheer pleasure of it, I forgot what the purpose of food is. Really? Yes, really! Now I eat because I'm hungry and when I do eat, I enjoy it. My knees aren't sore, my clothes fit better and I feel younger.


Will I ever have a Tru-Blu cookie again? Probably, but as a treat, not to satisfy desire to feel better. In the meantime, I need to continue on with this change in lifestyle.

Day 8 of the 17 Day Diet - 12 pounds and losing

It feels longer than 8 days but the calendar doesn't lie. I slipped once - ate at Chik-Fil-A on Saturday on the way to the airport in Denver. I didn't have this sudden craving nor did a feel like going on a carb binge and eat all kinds of stuff. However I did feel like eating all kinds of stuff when we were shopping for vegetables.

It's been tough at times. Habits and desires for food have been strong at times. I've been hungry around meal times - but shouldn't that be the right time to be hungry? I am already noticing some benefits. My pants and shirts are not so tight. That's pretty cool as I was staring to feel like the Pillsbury Doughboy. In 9 more days the diet changes. I think it won't be so restrictive, in any case, I'll need to stay disciplined and deliberate about what I eat and when I eat. I do know that I don't take food for granted and seem to enjoy what I eat more. At times I've been a real whiner, but it's partly in fun.

Another benefit that I'm noticing that I wake up starving. This not only motivates me to get out of bed quickly, but I haven't been skipping breakfast. Today we had meetings at school and there were snacks everywhere - peanut and chocolate granola bars, bite-size chocolates...my stomach is growling as I type this. The facilitator was passing out chocolate late in the afternoon and asked, "Who wants a Baby Ruth? Who wants a Snickers? Who wants a Butterfinger?" I wanted them all so bad but didn't take a bite.

Temptation is everywhere but as someone pointed out, I'm not on a diet, I'm changing my lifestyle. The next thing I need to do is somehow carve out the time for exercising. As the days grow longer and warmer, the opportunities will increase. It really helps going through this with Wendi. It would be nearly impossible if I were doing this alone. Accountability makes all the difference in the world.

California, Cuba, Colorado?

California's economy has been the pits and it seems that thinks aren't even close to getting any better. Wendi complains that we need to get out of the state and others that have left said they like to visit but they'd never live here again.

A couple of years ago I was on my second mission trip to Cuba. While I was there, I had a chance to e-mail home and I remember telling Wendi that I was ready to move to Cuba. I think the big draw was the church in Cuba. They were close-knit and there was a real sense of community. The political climate had brought persecution to the church and as a result, being a follower of Christ was difficult. Under adversity, one's faith is really strengthened and you are totally dependent on the Lord.

I've been in Denver area for the past 2 days and from what I've seen, I think I could live here. It reminds me of Salt Lake City or Boise. The views are incredible and Denver has every convenience that a big city offers (except for Tommy's). When I called Wendi she reminded me that I said the same thing about Cuba. I had also mentioned that I wanted to move to Maine too and I hadn't even been there. I admit I do like to go to different places and sometimes I imagine what it would be like to live there.

Today in presbytery we examined, ordained and commissioned a young man into the ministry who will be taking his family to the Czech Republic to be a missionary with a local church in the eastern part of the country. They will have a difficult time learning the language and he described the town they would be living in as similar to Pittsburg - an ugly industrial city. He spoke about the sacrifices they would be making to live there and the potential suffering they would experience living there. But he knew God's calling him to that place and it sounds like God has equipped him for this time and place.

He got me thinking about where I was and what I was doing. As much as we complain about where we live, I have a faith community to which I belong, a job with a definite sense of calling and know that for now this is where I belong. So, the answer to this question is Fresno. That's where I'll stay - as least for now.

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit" - yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." - James 4:13-15

Testing 1..2..3

Well, my short trip to Denver has been good. I managed to eat closely to my plan. I drank plenty of water and avoided all bread. I did eat at Chik-Fil-A in Parker before heading to the airport. I'm not going to beat myself over this as I avoided the temptation to dessert last night, not to mention the snacks during break at presbytery.

We'll see what the scale says when I get home tonight.

Day 4 of the 17 Day Diet - A "Pop Quiz"

It's been an interesting 3 days so far as I venture into Day 4. I have lost 8 pounds so far but I'm told that the first 10 pounds are the easiest.

The biggest changes so far have been the amount of water I drink a day and the fact that I don't get to put whatever i want in my mouth when I want to. I've actually discovered that when I'm at work, I tend to stack on granola bars if they're lying around. I didn't realize that I was unconsciously eating often.

Barstow, a dream come true?

The first day I was extremely grouchy by the end of the day and was craving all kinds of things to eat. Tuesday night was rough as I was in a meetings until 10 PM and had only eaten a small bowl of cottage cheese. I had another bowl of cottage cheese and went to bed. That night I had a bizarre dream in which I was at a huge McDonald's like the one in Barstow. I was starving and they had this huge salad bar. I got a plate and put as much salad on it as I could. There were also cooked vegetables, so I got another plate as well. I woke up starving, but ate a little cottage cheese in the morning.

The first real test will come in the next couple of days. I'm leaving for a presbytery meeting in Parker, CO today and will away from home. I'm staying at a Hampton Inn so I know what to expect for breakfast and it will work. The hardest part will be traveling there and back. Fortunately I'll be flying non-stop from Fresno to Denver. Tonight I'll have dinner with some friends and the rest of my meals will be taken care of at the church. I return early Saturday night so I'll also have to deal with dinner. I'm sure I'll be able to make good choices.

In reflecting on all of this I see that I have choices to make. When I consider the options I have for eating, I can either remain true to my plan or be unfaithful. I use word 'unfaithful' deliberately because that is what I think of when I might possibly choose something I probably  shouldn't have right now. I don't think I'll have to live the rest of my life denying myself everything, but self-denial and self-control can lead to good things. I know that I will be healthier in the end. I also believe that when I do partake of things (in moderation, of course) that I am currently denying myself, I will enjoy them even more.

Day 1 of the 17 Day Diet

Did you ever notice how many food commercials there are on TV? This morning I was running late so I skipped my green tea and scrambled eggs for some non-fat yogurt mixed with sugar-free strawberry jam. By 9:15 A.M. my tummy was talking. Lunch was some tuna, with a little egg, plus a pickle and some carrots. I also drank about 3 quarts of water today. Every time I was hungry I tried to drown my hunger. It worked for a bit but then my bladder took over. I visited the loo more times today than I can remember. Dinner was barbecued chicken and a salad.

The hardest part of this is saying "no" to my desires to fill my face. I know that most of it is in my mind and I think that is where the battle will take place. Yesterday I said that I never denied myself anything to eat. Eating is good and there is definite pleasure in eating things. However there is a lot of truth in having too much of a good thing. It got me to thinking why I do what I do. In the book of Romans Paul wrote that there was this battle within him. On the one hand what he wants to do he doesn't, and what he doesn't want to do he does (Romans 7:15). he goes on to say that Christ will deliver him (and me!).

So, when I get hungry, instead of satisfying myself with food, I'll turn to Christ. 1 Corinthians 10:31 Paul writes, "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God." It will be difficult, but not impossible.

Diet Eve

Skinny me (150 lbs.) in 1979

When I was a teenager I could eat whatever I wanted and was still skinny. In high school we used to go to the Swedish Smorgasbord on Ventura Blvd. in Tarzana and for $7.00 (I think) we'd inhale as much food as we could. This was usually 4 or 5 plates.

I remember one Thanksgiving I ate three meals at three different places all on the same day. This pattern of eating continued through college and into my married years. I loved eating. I was also very active. I rode my bicycle to school nearly every day. I rode my bike everywhere. I also played volleyball in college.

When I started teaching, I didn't have the time nor the energy to do anything. I did play volleyball in Lakeport for the first two years we lived there. Then the kids came along, and work continued to keep me busy. Soon I stopped doing any physical activity. When I was married I had a 30" waist. Over the years it crept up to a 32" and then 34."

Chunky me (250 lbs.) in 2010.

A couple of years ago I started experiencing acid reflux and I noticed that I couldn't eat anything I wanted whenever I wanted. I also started to experience stiffness in my joints. About 5 years ago I slowly developed sleep apnea and am now on a CPAP machine. I had surgery to fix the acid reflux problem and ate whatever I wanted whenever i wanted. My waist expanded to 36" and I now probably weigh about 250. I figure I need to lose at least 50 pounds if not more.

So Wendi and I are starting the 17 Day Diet tomorrow. It's a low-carb., high protein diet that was written by a doctor. We will also be starting some kind of exercise program. We're doing this for a couple of reasons. #1 - Our oldest son is getting married in October. This is probably the event that motivated us to get started. We know that we should be better about how we take care of our bodies, but the wedding is really motivating us. We need to change our lifestyle - that much is certain. Tomorrow I'll write blog about some more thoughts that I have. For now, it's late I should have been asleep a while ago.

Let Me Tell you 'bout (the Birds and) the Bees

For the past couple of weeks I've been noticing some citrus trees near Orange Cove and Cutler that have had this white netting covering the trees. Today I saw someone at church who is an agricultural expert (John Slaughter). John explained that the netting is protecting seedless tangerines from being pollinated by bees. If bees pollinate these trees, the fruit will not be seedless. Wow!!! How cool is that?

Chris cheering on his favorite college team!!

Tonight I also learned from my son Chris (aka Cramer) that the Phillies have been cheating on the MLB game on his PlayStation 2. He claims that the game is glitching, but I believe that it's part of a greater conspiracy against his beloved Mets. Oh well, who said that life is boring?

"Jesus Take the Wii"

Ah, to work in the same city as one lives - that would be a treat! Today I had a rare opportunity to attend a workshop in downtown Fresno. I still woke up early, but instead of a 42 mile, 50 minute commute to Orosi, I took a leisurely walk down the block and rode the 26 down Palm Ave. to the Bus shelter near Van Ness and Fresno and walked to the Fresno County Office of Education. It took a total of 20 minutes to get downtown and cost only $1.25.

Maybe I was destined to drive. I was born and raised in the Los Angeles area and commuted to UCLA from the Valley (the original) for 4 of my 6 years. Then my first job was a 27 mile, 1 hour 30 minute commute from Sepulveda to El Segundo. When I moved to Lake Co., I did have a 5 mile commute from Nice to Upper Lake, but the lure of the big city took us to Lakeport where my commute turned into a 10 mile commute. In my twenty years with Cutler-Orosi I have gone through at least 8 cars.

The price of gas is becoming painful to say the least and this compounds my driving woes. I seem to have two options, well maybe three: 1) move to Orosi, 2) get a job in Fresno, or 3) stay where I am for now and see wait to see what happens. As much as I'd like to move to Orosi, my family is not too keen on it and they have lots of reasons not to be. I'd love to work in Fresno, but the current economy and the current budget crisis in California seems like a train wreck in the making. The third option to stay where I'm at is the more likely one.

As I was reflecting on this tonight this a verse came to my mind:

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’” - James 4:13-15.

I can't forget that ultimately, God directs my path and He controls my life. Yet, it is so easy to fall into the trap that I'm at the wheel and driving my life. If you dare, look at this video. It has nothing to do with today's muse except for the title of today's entry.

Energy Crisis

Weston did not wear Scott out in spite of what the picture shows.

Is it a sign of getting older when you do absolutely nothing the day after a week-long trip with a group of high schoolers?

I didn't sleep all day but felt completely unmotivated to work in the backyard on Friday. Kaylene went to sleep at 8 P.M. on Thursday night and slept for 17 hours. So maybe it's not old age -but then again, I don't think my bladder would let me sleep for 17 hours.

At least I had Saturday to work in the yard. It was good to get the jungle under control and make it look decent, however I think I'll need to re-sod or re-seed the backyard grass. It's pretty thrashed after 3 years of abuse from lack of watering and the loss of our great shade tree that we had removed.

This Easter break has been much different than previous ones. We went on a "mission trip" but this was not a service-oriented project. We learned a lot and time will tell what's been retained. It's great to be home and it's been nice not to think about work. The good news is that I get another day off tomorrow to clean out the garage. If anyone  doesn't believe in the 2nd law of Thermodynamics, come spend the day with me on Monday.

LA Recap

Well, we're back from our youth trip to LA and it was great! I'm tired after having slept on the floor of a church for the past five nights and driving over 1,000 miles in Southern California. Before we left on the trip we wrote letters to ourselves and then opened them on the day that we left for come home.

I was amazed at how most of my expectations and hopes were met. In my note dated April 10th, I wrote, "I hope that as a result of this experience I will be less judgmental of other traditions and that I will appreciate some of the differences there are in the church. I hope that we will alll see the church as being made up of various parts - all glorifying God and presenting the Gospel of Christ accurately and faithfully."

That pretty much is what happened. One student commented that he appreciated the differences that we saw at the churches we visited, however he did have his own preference for worshiping and it wasn't necessarily any of the ones that we visited.

This picture at the right is the Mayan theater in downtown LA. This is not a concert but the stage for Mosaic's Sunday evening service. This church seems to reach out to young (20's - 30's) professionals. We saw a wide range of worship expressions (dance, singing, testimonies) and heard testimonies from people who had been transformed by Jesus Christ and were living changed lives. These people would probably not have gone to a traditional church and I saw how this church was used to bring people to Christ. This was one of the two places that I anticipated I would be judgmental towards. I really enjoyed the experience but like the high school student I mentioned earlier, I probably not regularly attend here.

The other place where I felt I would be challenged was Saddleback. When people talk about their church grounds, they sometimes call it their "campus." Well, Saddleback is truly a campus. It was huge and felt like a theme park minus the rides. One person commented that it felt like they were trying to create a village-like atmosphere. I would agree. We noticed that even the stones had music coming from them; but of course, they were outdoor speakers.

Saturday night ate at Saddleback - yes, we ate at one of the eateries they have on campus - and attended their high school worship service. There were students to greet us at the door when we came in. They handed us pens and an outline of the teaching that we would be hearing that night. The worship band was student led and very good. Students also ran the cameras, lights and sound for the service. Throughout the service they had videos to advertise upcoming events and interviews with their student interns. The guest speaker that night was Doug Fields, their former youth pastor. He's still on staff and disciples a group of freshmen boys during the week. Our kids were excited to hear Doug as we had just completed a series on sex and dating that Doug had produced through Youth Specialties Ministry.

The message was that night was clear and biblically strong. For some reason I thought that things would be somewhat Christian-lite. I guess that was part of my judgmental-ism coming out. However it was great. The picture above is the outside of the youth building. They call it 'The Refinery.' In the front is a sand volleyball court. Out back is a skate park and an outdoor restaurant. Inside is a deli and a coffee shop. There is also a half-court basketball set-up and a video arcade room upstairs.

We did get to eat at the Original Tommy's at Beverly and Rampart. Some kids liked it while others did not. I guess it's like the different churches we visited. Afterwards we went to Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood. The kids got to see the famous footprints as well as the freaks that frequent Hollywood Blvd. We then went up to the Griffith Park Observatory for a couple of hours. On Monday we went to Dodger Stadium and saw the Dodgers beat the Braves 4-2. I think Kaylene is now a Dodger fan. Now I don't have to celebrate alone.

Surprisingly, I was most affected when we went down to Skid Row to partipate with a ministry that has karaoke night every Wednesday. Driving east on 6th St. from the Harbor Freeway, we quickly left the highrise buildings and ended in a section of town that had literally hundreds of people living on the streets. I've seen the homeless in the Tenderloin of San Francisco and the homeless in downtown Fresno, but the scale of homelessness was almost overwhelming. I think this is because people are drawn to LA for a chance of fame or success. The weather is not harsh as well and these things contribute to the number of homeless people in LA. There were also more women and children than I have seen in other areas. On side streets, the more fortunate had cars to sleep in. Most were on the streets however. The karaoke night was fun and the people that participated had one night in which they could escape the harsh reality of living on the streets of Los Angeles. They had a prayer room set up in which people could share prayer requests and praises.

I think it will take a couple of days to see what kind of impact this trip will have on me as well as the kids. In the meantime I'll try to keep this blog going from time to time with thoughts and views on what's happening. Thanks for your prayers for us. It will be interesting to see what the students get out this.