A Letter to My Son

Dear Luke,

When you were born 23 years ago, someone told me that the time would fly by. At the time I didn't realize how true that statement is. The time has flown and now your wedding day is upon us. I've been praying for you (it's not like I just started!) and have been pondering on what to say to you. Here are some thoughts that I wanted to share with you.

A Mystery
This covenant of marriage you about to enter in with Valerie is not something to be taken lightly. In Ephesians 5:32, Paul describes marriage as picture of Christ and the Church. He even refers to it as a mystery. Your marriage relationship is a visible testimony of Jesus Christ and the Church. I don't completely understand, but like the doctrine of the Trinity, I get glimpses of who God is and how He relates to us. Our society has taken marriage so lightly that there is debate as what constitutes a marriage. It is more than a commitment between two loving adults. It's not just a "friend with benefits" kind of relationship. You and Valerie are to love each other with a love that is so totally different than the world's definition and as a result your marriage will be a living witness of how Christ loves us.

Love Your Wife as Christ Loved the Church

This was spoken to me at my wedding 26 years ago and it is probably the key verse that I strive to live by in my relationship with my wife (who conveniently is also your mother!). Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." Every time I'm tempted to point out that I'm right about something - whether it's in an argument, or something that I would be wanting to 'invoke' my rights, this verse stops me cold. Jesus Christ, the Son of God who died on the cross for me and rose from the dead, by his position of authority in my life, can demand my loyalty and worship, but instead is patient and waits for me. He'd much rather have me completely by my own volition or will, instead of manipulating me or forcing me to love Him. Loving Valerie like Christ loves you involves humility, patience and a view of wanting the best for her. We can be so selfish and deceive ourselves with a false sense of humility, but when we measure our love by Christ's standard, we're quickly put in our place.

Be A Man of God

One of the things that a wife really wants is a husband that loves God with his whole heart. Remember the line from "Courageous" in which Nathan tells his daughter that if a man loves God first, he'll always love and cherish her. Matthew 6:33 says "Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you." You can only be the husband that Christ is calling you to be if you seek Him and put all of your trust in Him. You cannot do it on your own or try real hard and hope that God blesses you or gives you an occasional helping hand.

Provide for Your Family
Paul says in 1st Timothy 5:8 that the one who does not provide for his own family "denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." Another thing that I remember my pastor counseling me before we got married was that I need to do whatever work I can get in order to provide for my family. This not only applies to physical or financial needs, but also the spiritual needs of your family. In Colossians 3:23, Paul also writes, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." He goes on later to say that you are serving the Lord Christ. It is real important that whatever work you do, that you give over and above what is expected of you. You were created to work and you will find a certain amount of satisfaction from a job well done. By giving your all, you will be a further testimony of Christ living in you.

Blessing
Finally, I want to close by telling you what a blessing you are to me. I can't tell you how often someone at work or church will come up to me and tell me, "I saw Luke at Costco the other day." They always tell me what a great kid you are. I know - you're a man, but I'd treasure the "kid" part as long as you can. It fades quickly. Seriously, I am proud of the man that you have become and know that with God's help, you will have a marriage as strong and joyful as I have had. God has brought you a beautiful gift in Valerie and will use her to continue to shape you into His image. May God richly bless you.

Embracing Reality

View "A"

View "B"

On Friday I went to see another urologist to get answers that a previous doctor was unable to give. It's amazing how clear communication takes away any doubts. It's like the difference between driving with a dirty windshield and one that's clean. My first visit with Doctor "A" left me with lots of questions and doubts.  Like the picture above on the left, I could see ahead of me but didn't quite know what was coming up. Looking at the picture on the right, I can see the edges of the road, the center line and can see ahead. In both pictures my view is limited to a particular distance. Doctor "B" not only gave me a clear diagnosis and explained everything in the pathology report, but he also pointed out significant things that Doctor "A" failed to mention.

I still don't know what definitely lies ahead, but I now "own it" as Wendi said to me this afternoon. She had already embraced the reality of my new-found condition, but I had yet to fully acknowledge it. Some of you know what I'm talking about, but the rest of you will have to guess or e-mail me privately if you really want to know. I do know that I will be blogging about this in January after some really fun tests, tests that I don't need to study for!

Trust Fall

Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." In Romans 8:24, Paul writes, "For in this hope ( freedom from sin and redemption in Christ - not just figuratively, but in reality - v.21, 23) we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?" What Paul and the writer of Hebrews are getting at is that faith is hope in something that is unseen, yet having such a conviction that you actually live by that. The person in the picture directly above doesn't know that those 6 people will actually catch her. It's scary to do this. She hopes that they will catch her. If she knew they'd catch her, then it wouldn't really be faith - according to Paul and the writer of Hebrews. That is how a life living in Christ is. That is what I'm finding to be true. It sure is scary at times, but the thrill of being caught - that's exciting. Am I scared of what lies ahead? Sure, who wouldn't? But am I living in fear or doubt? No - at least not right now. Like the girl in this picture, I'm trusting Christ for whatever happens. A story that illustrates what I'm talking about is found here. I am that man on His back.